Questions to Ask Your Partner Before Marriage

Marriage doesn't change who you are — it just makes the differences you never quite discussed a lot more expensive to ignore. These 20 questions, pulled from four of our deep-question categories, are the ones worth asking on purpose, before the wedding, not after.

About your future together

  1. What kind of life do you want to live?
  2. Who do you want to become in 5 years?
  3. What matters more to you: career, family, freedom, or inner peace?
  4. What do you want to build in your life from scratch?
  5. What kind of life do you definitely not want?

About money and ambition

  1. What does money mean to you?
  2. What matters more to you: work you love or a stable income?
  3. How do you feel about risk?
  4. What does success mean to you?
  5. Are you more afraid of poverty or losing your freedom?

About family and what you bring with you

  1. What did your childhood feel like?
  2. How did your family show love?
  3. What from your family would you like to carry into your future?
  4. What from your family do you definitely not want to repeat?
  5. Which lesson from your parents shaped you the most?

About love itself

  1. What does it mean to love someone, to you?
  2. What makes a relationship strong?
  3. What matters more in a couple to you: passion, trust, or stability?
  4. Do you think love is a feeling or a choice?
  5. What's hard for you to accept in close relationships?

These are a small sample of the full deep questions deck — 90 questions across 9 categories, including all four above.

Play through these categories

Draw a card. Answer honestly. Pass it back.

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Deep Questions
All 90 questions, across all 9 categories.
Questions to Ask Your Partner
Our love deck — 100 questions about your relationship day to day.
Conversation Cards
What conversation cards are, and how to use them well.